I am going to rant now. If you actually read this and if it offends you, please go ahead and stop being my friend (in real life and/or facebook) now because clearly we are not on the same page.
First, I want to say that I understand the position of a military wife. I did not give birth or raise kids while my husband was gone, but I have faced 2 and a half deployments. At a young age, being alone on my own in a new city for the first time, twice, and without a ton of support for the first one. I have also seen those who keep a positive attitude, even in some of the worst case scenarios versus those who are losing it.
Second, I do believe military should be given a TON of respect and I think should be given discounts and privileges, etc. I am unbelievably grateful for those who serve our country and those who stand beside them through the many many trials they face. I do not, however, believe that military is entitled to be a complete bad word for no reason and be allowed to get away with it (this is said not in relation to PTSD related episodes or things of that nature). It is also not an excuse for a military wife to be a bad word constantly.
I understand that EVERYONE has their bad days, but being married to the military does not mean you are better than anyone else or their problems. I can totally understand that there are days when you don't want to listen to anyone about their seemingly trivial issues. But while you are able to handle yourself through what may seem like much more difficult trials, please remember that their issues are just as hard for them. And there is ALWAYS more than what you are seeing. You have not always been 100% grateful for the time you spent with your S/O. You, too, have faults. And please remember that you are not the only one who is dealing with stuff. You were in the civilian lifestyle at one point and will probably be there again. "Petty" things are still hard, even if you think your issues are bigger now.
To people who remark, "I don't know how you do it." or something to that effect, neither do I. Life is a real bad word some days, but there is no alternative. (This is not said in anger, but it is the best response I have so far). I do genuinely appreciate this sentiment, but I don't have anything else to say except that you don't know how strong you are until you have no other choice.
To the people who are secretly thinking I'm one of "those" wives who just can't hold out until her husband gets back and can't take the stress so I'm leaving him (I'm hoping this is no one...) please refer back to the military and douchebagery description above. Just because someone is a Marine (or any other service member) does not mean he can get away with being a bad word and does not mean I should put up with it. If it's not okay for a civilian, it's not okay for him.
And finally, to the wives who sit at home just waiting for a call for the entire time they are gone, you do not get this time back. If you think that you will look back at this time and go, wow, what a waste of 6-9 months that was, yeah, you're probably right. I'm not saying you should go out and party (though if you want to, go for it) but learn a hobby, read a book, set goals or take a class or do something. "He doesn't want you to be miserable while you're waiting, he's just happy you wait." And he needs you to have a good attitude for him when he's able to talk and needs to know that you are okay back home so do something to keep yourself from being totally miserable. If you have a cell phone, then you will still be able to get the call even if you're not home.
All of this aside, if you are able to read this, I care about you. I wish I could bring every husband/boyfriend/etc home. I wish I could take any pain away. If you're not military related, then this still applies just not in the same ways. I am always here for anyone to vent, to offer perspective (if so desired), to help in any way I can.
I am sorry for anyone I may have pissed off now, but if you are in that group and we are close, I would hope you'd confront me about it. If we are super close, you should already know if you're included in any of this. Just had to get this out before my head exploded.
I still hope everyone has a super, fantastic, great day
Mandiy
No comments:
Post a Comment