Self-Esteem (*Feminism Warning*)

This is something I've been struggling with for a while now. The dreaded scale and the mirror. I have "tried" losing weight 34893948203920 times, and I always "fail." I end up craving the "bad" foods and being too "tired" (wow, I'm using a lot of quotes tonight) to exercise. I tell myself every time that it's ok, that I'll do better the next time. The thing is, I haven't had the right motivation. While I know so many people go to the gym because they want to look better, that's just not enough for me. I do know that I need to lose the weight to be healthier. Because I like life and I want to be able to enjoy it longer without health issues that come with being overweight.

The thing is, I've never really thought I was "pretty." I didn't care much up until the last few years when I started believing not that I wasn't especially pretty, but that I was all the negative things people believe about themselves. In the past few months, however, I have been working to improve all aspects of my life. I want to have a positive outlook on life. I want to change so much about my attitude and that includes the way I see myself, whether what I look like changes or not. Society loves to send us messages that say this is the wrong way to go about it. We should change our appearance and *then* we will look better, feel better, and then we can be happy about ourselves. But what about the months we're miserable in between? Are we supposed to feel like crap until then? Again, I believe in being healthy and treating your body right (still working on this), but the pressure is just ridiculous sometimes. And we set ourselves up to fail this way. We will never be perfect according to society because this perfection is ever changing and unattainable in order for the media to continue promoting new products to make you look "better."

Anyway, all of this is to say, I've begun a new approach. I will continue trying to eat better and exercise because it makes me feel better when I do, but I am also learning to love who I am already. Because I spend so much time on Facebook, it should come as no surprise that I like somewhere in the vicinity of 2380192019398 pages. Many of these now, though are ones that promote healthy body image and learning to respect yourself. One that I feel very strongly about is Operation Beautiful (http://operationbeautiful.com/). So many of us struggle to fit into a mold that we were never meant to fit. And while each of us is struggling, instead of encouraging each other to stay who we are, we buy into the bull that society force feeds us. We gossip about each other, and we are only loyal to a select few. But what if this wasn't the case, as OB suggests? What if we were to promote real beauty and what if we cared about each other?

Personally, I think this is in large part a way that men have been able to keep women under control for so long. If we are so busy, even from an early age, working on our image, we don't have time to really change the world. If we weren't focusing on our bodies and were focusing on our surroundings, we could really be making a difference.

Again, not to say that we shouldn't take care of ourselves, too, but spending all of our energy on this is not fair to the rest of the world. We are depriving them of our awesomeness. So what if we encouraged each other and put our God-given talents to good use instead of on the back burners? Just a thought.

Have a super, fantastic, great day! And remember, that you are beautiful!

Mandiy